Almost forgot who I am.

I’ve been stressing a lot lately due to the work at school and stuff, so I tried to study my ass off because well, to catch up and besides seeing everyone doing it has be nervous myself. But by doing so I forgot who I really am and what I was really good doing: procrastinating. Sure its bad but if it works it works. I’ve been stressing extremely hard on everything that I’ve been feeling like total shit lately and stressed out of my mind. I need to take things easy and chill, like before; like I always did.

Previously, on Daniel Moon’s Pathetic Life;

kso, my doubts on U of T are slowly being disproved. I guess it was first sem that was cake afterall. I guess second sem isnt terrible. Its most likely just me, as L-Mak and Howard may have pointed out, over-stressing and worrying about everything. Most likely so but hey that’s me. Accordingly, I’m pretty stressed lately, and am really tired. I guess most of it has to due with the fact I kind of self promoted myself to team leader for aps112. Its actually not bad at all but ionno I feel really responsible to keep everyone on track to get things done on time and sticking to agenda. Whereas before I just do what I was told… Um.. yeah. Overall my group is alright. Could be better of course, but I can’t complain. We seem to be doing alright. Although I’ll have to rely on Cathy to score us good marks, haha.

I went into talk to L-Mak recently about discipline choice and my future plans. She seems pretty impressed at my proposal for things. I asked about certain things I was interested in, such as getting a minors and taking summer credit courses but much to my surprise, its pretty unfortunate. To grab a minors I’d have to take night school AND summer school for around 2-3 years? Due to the bulk load of courses engineers already have. Furthermore, the summer credit courses are only artsci courses. Of course that’s not much of an issue for me, well it wouldnt be, until I was informed that not all credits are transferrable. Which is pretty balls. $800 dollars for a course that may not even count… HMMMMM. Yeah I’m not rich, fuck. Lol.

So the upcoming week is pretty hell for me and majority of trackOnes. Tuesday we have a chem test (1 hr 10%) when we barely know whats going on in that class. Following that, we have a dynamics quiz in the afternoon (5%, 30mins). Wednesday we have a lab for ECE (like 5%? 2hrs). Hopefully me and BERKLEY (:D) don’t screw up. Thursday is Calculus test (50%, 2 hrs) and Friday is ESP PD/PMP due date…. Well at least we’re almost done our PD/PMP thanks to initiatives and enthusiasm by everyone, since we all had that dreaded week lol. Dynamics shouldnt be bad… Worried about chem and Calc though…. ugh. Wish me luck D:

Oh my god I suck at typing.

Not sure if I mentioned this already but, I got a new keyboard,the Razer Lycosa. It feels really nice on the fingers and all, but I have one big complaint about it: Laptop style key. A lot of people seem to love it but me personally, I cannot type on this at all. My WPM is just dead. But hey, we’re all human, our best ability is to adapt. I’ll get used to it in matter of time… I’m not sure why I’m having so much problem on this, but yeah. Perhaps the shallow keys? The change in height with each keys? I think so. Ugh. And this  is why I hate laptops. I cannot type on them at alllllllllllll. God I’m so traditional.

Anyways, I got it from Andrew as a Christmas gift. That oaf actually remembered me saying I wanted one last time we stepped into Canada Computers. I’m impressed. And apparently he feels bad after I gave him his gift, and is buying me the mouse as well. I have to be the biggest nerd ever: receiving peripherals for gifts. AHAHAHAHAHAHAH. man that’s bad. Well I’m glad he really loved the marker, I thought he’d not like it because its kind of outdated a bit, but I guess not! He seems to be having fun designing it on the builder site alone, haha. At least I got one thing accomplished this xmas. .

Christmas blows, I want school already. Loooooooooool.

I’m slowly losing faith in humanity.

http://www.policebrutality.info/2008/12/police-abuse-and-strip-woman-and-leave.html

Reports like this just sicken me. I mean, the way our society is already is a bit of an irritation. The common aspect of greed and perversion plagues the general public hence the current issues we have today (roughly put at least). Now, throw in that case, another typical police brutality. Except however, this case seem to have sicken me even more so due to the denial on the accused’s part. I may be no lawyer, but the allegations provided in the video in that link is enough to convince anyone that something is hidden and the police county knows they are guilty yet will not admit it. First the witness, Stephy herself won’t be listened to as much because well, the world’s cruel like that. Second, the video released by their lawyer cannot be used as a solid evidence as it self as the police may claim that it was not them, but perhaps a video produced with people in very accurate police costumes + the personnel look exactly like their police officers. Can’t be a coincidence though, can it? Me personally, I think that video and Stephy alone should be suffice to win this case against this sickening perverted police brutality. Furthermore add in suspicions such as the dashcam being shut off when it should be on at all times, tapes not being released when clearly there are more, as well as the down right denial should raise questions as to what really happened.

I mean, I’m not a man of morality. I admit I’ve lost it and am a pretty corrupted person. However I’m not afraid to admit to things that are true in instances like this. have they no sense of morality to deny something like this?

Stuff like this give the police all around the nation, the world, a bad image. Not all police officers are like this, heck hopefully majority of em aren’t. But whenever videos like this pop up, I think otherwise.

Humanity is doomed.

Study no go? Fo’sho. GOTY? What the shit?

So, I officially conclude the fact that I’m a hopeless bastard. I don’t have the mentality of a professional and I’m doomed.

Actually I’m not totally sure about that, but I was in no mood to study for my computers exam. Quite honestly, its like the math of high school; How the hell do you study for it? So I decided not to. And watched Spike Video Game Awards 2008 instead. Was it totally worth it? I guess? haha. I only left one question blank because well, its the only thing I didn’t know about -> sorting. Never paid any attention to it in Java, nor in C. So I guess that kind of screwed me over in the long run. Whatevs, I feel so careless right now, I just want this to end. And with that said, Calc left on Thursday. I’m going to try to enjoy every bit of it… Let’s end things with a bang, shall we?

I actually think I should’ve just went in for mathematics program instead. I feel so much more enthusiastic to study for math more so than any other course. If I try out a single question in calculus, that gets followed by a whole section doing practices questions so I understand everything. Somethings are just so weird like that. Not that I’m saying I hate engineering, but I obviously do not love it as much as being in Mathematics. But the status of being an engineer sure feels rewarding for some odd reason. Eh, perks. Go figure.

As I mentioned earlier I was watching Spike VGA 2008 last night, instead of studying, and was shocked by the outcome of things, mostly the GOTY and indie award. First off, how on earth is GTA4 GOTY? Sure it has a little bit of everything for everyone, with a story line and sandbox concept to tie it all up but, it feels so loose. Compared to an epic like Metal Gear Solid 4, honest to god, GTA4 does not deserve it. Also, Braid? Really? Honestly? No. Audiosurf dammit. GRRRRRRRRRRR. So yeah I’m not so content about the results. But I’m just glad Fallout3 did not get GOTY. Its such an overrated game. Troof.

I’m in somewhat of a bitchy mood right now. Not really sure why. Maybe its because of my incompetence in life. I mean really, its either I don’t study hard enough for these exams or I’m just retarded. I’m leaning more towards the latter. I’m not that pissed about my exams. Only algebra. Because its a math. Yupp, bun the rest.

I’m going to get my ass down to library tomorrow and will study my ass off.

Agenda? Finish summarizing theories and formula sheet. then finish chapters 4-6. Hopefully I’ll finish. Then for Wednesday, finish 7 and go over everything else. With the exam being at 2pm, I’m debating whether I should get a long rest or just wake up early and study more. I’m leaning more towards the former. Sleep is good.

Boy I wish I got my OSAP funds already, that Archos would be fun to fidget around with. And to replace my yucky keyboard… *shudder*.

Finals? Oh Habibi.

I think I’ve lost the enthusiasm in studying already. I guess that’s normal, seeing how we’re all so anxious to get this semester over with. You just want to get through it. But this all means that I’m kind of fucked for finals. Or am I?

When I say fucked for things that have to do with marks, it usually means lower than 90. Of course in most cases this is true, if not all. I have 5 exams, all spaced out quite nicely, with reasonable amount of time to study for each (2 days, but honestly, I only use one day to study, fuck my life lol). My only concerns were on the first two: APS111 (bullshit course not even worth explaining, besides the fact I’m getting a 54% in that course) and CIV100 (physics for civil engineering, where everything stays still). APS111 I was actually a tad worried about because it was very well possible for me to fail the course. We also had to hand in an assignment a week ago that was worth 15% of our mark. Of course I did a haphazard job, so I’m expecting around 60% or so. But considering I did get zero somehow, I needed a 60% to pass the course with a 53%. Not bad? right? Wrong, I fucking have no common sense and that course is very subjective. SO this exam, worked my ass off and got through it alright I suppose. But right now I’m shitting balls worrying that I forgot to put my name on the scantron or what not. I’m sure I did… Lol fuck.

CIV100 wasn’t too terrible. Had to be my worst course next to APS111, but exam was much eaiser than our midterm. Despite this fact, I fucked up the first question somehow (lol). Besides that I think it went well. Expecting around… 70% or so. Good enough for me, to be honest.

Then comes Linear Algebra (MAT188), my “best” course. I went in the exam with a 93. Of course this mark is better than all my friends I know lol. But I’m quite positive it’ll see a strong drop, of 8% or so. I barely studied – only a day of doing homework which I haven’t done – and I guess you can say I got cocky. But whatevs. I can’t get honour roll anyways (curse you APS111..), so might as well just do what I can. And the exam itself? Well, it wasn’t so bad actually. I (as well as 99% of the course) couldn’t do this one question (2 part, independent), so I bullshitted on the first part and prayed. Then the last question… nasty question mainly due to A HUGE ROOM FOR ARITHMETIC ERRORS. Accordingly, I’m perdy damn sure I got it wrong somewhere. Oh wells. Overall I’m expecting… around 80% or so. I think that’s more than reasonable. But again, I’m shitting balls right now, going paranoid as to whether or not I wrote my name and std# on it…. fuck me.

So now I have CS (compsci) and Calculus (no not the wussy MAT188 majority of engineering is taking, you guys have it sooooo easy..). Honestly, I’m not going to study for CS, instead I’m going to attend the exam prep session tomorrow and be done with it. Then on Saturday I’m planning on going out to shop for Andrew’s Christmas gift. I think its safe to announce what, since that loser never reads my blog. I’m planning to grab him a Tippmann A5 marker. Yes I know its a bit outdated now, but its still a remarkable thing and its enough for a causual paintballer like him. Hopefully Bass Pro Shop has the kit I want in stocks, trip to Vaughan Mills ~If not, I’ll have to pay the inflated price at Sgt. Splatters. Which I’m not quite looking forward to. Oh well, anything for Andrew. I owe him a lot.

All in all, I’m enjoying school. Nah I’m fucking kidding I’m sick of it. I can really use the break about now…. eh, although I haven’t done much hard work to deserve it. lol.

Here’s to the final week, and hope that I don’t forget to write my name on my exams… eeek, that would SO SUCK.

Wish List. New computer!

My Christmas Wishlist:

Keyboard: http://www.razerzone.com/p-131-razer-lycosa-mirror-gaming-keyboard.aspx

Mousepad: http://www.razerzone.com/p-80-razer-destructor-precision-gaming-surface.aspx

I am such a nerd. Lolol.

So um, I’ve successfully built my new computer after 2-3 hours of trial and fail here and there. Managed to get it POST on first try! and it was my first time building a computer by myself! and my lord, Zalman 9700LED/NT are not fun to play with. The clip for mounting the heatsink seems like its going to snap the motherboard in half, the heatsink is too big, making it impossible for me to screw in the top left socket and getting the 4 pin power cable plugged was a big challenge. But overall, minus all the cable management, its running perfectly fine! 12794 on 3D Mark 06, which seems appropriate for my build. Although, I think I went a little overboard on the blue. Lol. Antec 900 + 9700LED = total blue orgy. Blue light everywhere!

Overall, I’m happy with my success. Sure I may have went a bit overboard on spending, but hey the experience was all worth it.

System Specs:

Intel Core 2 Quad Q9300 (2.5ghz, 1333mhz FSB)

4gb DDR2-800 OCZ Platinum series

HIS – ATI Radeon HD 4870 1gb

Asus PQ5 – SE Mobo

Seagate 500gb 7200 rpm 32mb cache

Zalman 9700 LED

PC Power & Cooling – 610W Silencer series

Windows Vista 64 – Home Premium

All within Antec Nine Hundred.

Fuck my life.

K so recap of things since I haven’t been here in a while due to neglecting it and was too lazy and such:

F!rosh Week was ausum.

Went clubbing for the first time at Guv. It was both good and suxorz.

Made a handful of good friends in uni.

I am still the egotistical wannabe perfectionist jerk that I was before.

New friends learned about that side of me, and how depressing I am.

I’m failing school.

———————————————————–

Alright maybe I’m not failing school. Maybe I’m doing a lot better than many others. Maybe I’m not. But I sure as hell failed my Calculus A and Mechanics midterms. No I don’t mean the mythical Daniel Moon fail. The below 50% fail. Heh. Life’s had its fair share of ups and downs up to now. Of course, a lot more ups than I make it to be. But hey, Whatcha gonna do?

I had a job at Second Cup in yd the previous month, but I ended up quitting after like… 2 months of working. Don’t get me wrong, its a fun place to work, albeit tiring. But the scheduling kept on fucking up for me and got sick of its inconsistency. And yeah I quitted then. I made around $300 since. Not so bad for minimum wage.

School’s been great I guess, but I kind of do hate it. Mostly because I hate waking up. 7:30 everyday (Yeah others have it worse, but I used to be nocturnal since 15). In high school, I slept at around 3 or 4 everyday, and got only 3-4 hours of sleep in the weekdays and did perfectly fine. Okay fine, maybe I slept through classes like Geography and Law. But you get the point. In Uni, I get around 5-6 hours of sleep on average. I’m still tired. The days I get more, I’m still tired.

U of T isn’t exactly the hard I expected it to be. But don’t get me wrong when I say this. Its definitely hard, but not in the difficulty in the concepts and such. Its more so on the management of your work and the workload you gain, in conjunction with the level of stress you gain each and everyday, as well the nervousness you get in tests and such; main reason why I failed the two tests mentioned above. I get by doing my work, although I’m behind in calculus like a BITCH right now. Nothing’s toooo hard, okay maybe except programming. I was never so extraordinary at it to begin with, I was just okay. But I guess being an egotistical jerk has somehow gave me the position of: “Daniel Moon wrote C”. Eh. I sure wish I did lol. I’m just good at the theories and knowledge and use of it, never at problem solving.

Maths have been going great so far, besides my mishap on calculus. Algebra has to be my favourite course right now, mainly because our professor teaches it so well and gets me really engaged in learning. Our professor, Mary Pugh, so should’ve got the lecturer award at TVO or something lol. She’s one of those people that makes people laugh, although its not totally confirmed whether or not she’s doing it purposely or not. Lol. We go  by the saying, Mary Pugh >= God. She’s that great. And to top it off, she actually remembers me now, as Mr.Moon. Lol. Yayme. Calculus… I’m doing alright I guess. Just have to do some practice homework…. Prof is alright, but he sure ain’t Mary Pugh. But I can live with it.

Physics is my worst course, like always. I’m like the total opposite of everyone. Everyone says that physics makes sense because its more literal and actual than math itself. However I see things the totally opposite way: Math makes much more sense to me because numbers and variables just speak for themselves, to me at least. I failed the midterm pretty bad. But besides that, I’m doing pretty well. I think. Professor may not be the best(efficiency wise, he’s good at teaching but just not the whole spectrum thing… hard to explain) but I really like him as a person.

Although the saying in university is be happy with a 60, I just cannot get myself to be happy with anything lower than a 90% range mark. Sure the average is usually around there, but I won’t be happy being average. I want to be better, but at the same time, I don’t want to be better relative to the crowd. I want to excel and meet up to my own expectations. If you keep comparing yourself to others, you’ll always have a bottleneck on your performance; you have to set your own standards and goals to meet that you feel is acceptable. And so far, I can’t seem to meet it. It gets me down a lot, but heh, that’s just me I guess. Kind of hypocritical if you consider how I was back in High School, with the big talk I had with people and all, with the influence and such. Or maybe I was like this all along, and the fact that I won’t be able to fulfill my objectives and dreams if I keep performing at this rate. I have to excel and go abroad if I ever want to get the title of Dr. Moon and create the Moon constant for Felicia to exploit. Lol. Big dreams, just have to back it up with big accomplishments; none of which i’ve done so far. It’s sure as hell discouraging. Maybe my dad was right, maybe I’m just a dumbass failure that will get nowhere in life. Just maybe so.

In terms of social life I guess things are doing pretty swell. Made friends with people that I can actually hang around and be happy with, and study with, and so on. They’re fun people. but as always, I still have taht weird bitter feeling i cannot seem to diminish. Can’t really tell what it is, but I always feel like I’m always out of the loop, that I’m never accepted. The worst part is that I’m being bothered by this. Its as if I want to conform to the norm of today. Will I be happy with that? I’m not sure.

But I guess I’d be a hypocrite If I said that I was always alone. I’ve always had one friend to be by me at all times (mostly lol) to keep me company and endure the annoying abomination that is I. I’d be lying to myself, if i said that, no part of my heart has some sort of happiness, because he’s always there by me to keep me smiling. There to just make me feel loved at all times, despite my annoying ways lol. and I think I’ve shown a proportion of my appreciation for him on his Birthday last month. Put a lot of hurt in mah wallet, but I felt good doing all this for him. He made the final year of High School the best time of my life, he taught me how to smile and be happy again. Its the least I can do for him right? Heh. Thanks, Andrew. Not sure what I’d do if I went to Waterloo or if you went to other place.

And just to put this out there, I sometimes wonder lately, what would’ve happened if I asked her out back in high school. I don’t want to call this feeling regret… but I guess it essence, it is regret. A bit.
Oh and I’ve spent shitload of money building a new PC. I got all parts but the case, which I shall obtain tomorrow. More factors that will lead to me failing school. Fuck my life.

105 Things to do before I die.

1. Walk across the Great Wall of China.
2. Travel across the world and document my experiences through video.
3. Visit the North Pole and see if there actually is a pole.
4. Visit the North Pole and prove the Santa Clause is not a myth.
5. Wrestle a polar bear.
6. Visit Antarctica and see which pole is the coldest.
7. Visit Antarctica and dance with all the species of penguins still alive. Happy Feet motherfucker.
8. Go on a cruise trip.
9. Go on a vacation.
10. See the Aurora Boreas.
11. Go ice fishing.
12. Go skating in Antarctica if possible.
13. Go skating in the North Pole if possible.
14. Eskimo kiss.
15. Punch a girl in the breasts.
16. Punch a girl in the baby maker.
17. Kick a girl in the baby maker.
18. Youtube the previous 3 things and get away with it.
19. Own Google.
20. Videoblog.
21. Out stare the Sun.
22. Destroy the Sun and create my own artificial Sun which will allow the Earth to function normally but charge the entire world to be able to use such technology and start the ultimate capitalism one can imagine with their imagination.
23. Start my own Coup d’etat and conquer the world using my Sun as threat.
24. Use the artificial sun to create the ultimate weapon called Thor’s Hammer (Real original, I know) and destroy any nation unwilling to beckon to my rule.
25. Decide whether I’d want a communist rule or dictatorship.
26. Live on the Moon.
27. Own the Moon.
28. Use the Moon as a weapon to make it collide with Earth if dicks piss me off. Of course, I’ll be living on Mars when that all takes place.
29. Live on Mars.
30. Own Mars.
31. Eat Mars bars on Mars.
32. Create a mind blowing revolutionary technology.
33. Create a lethal revolutionary biological weapon. Preferably through nanotechnology.
34. Own the LHC.
35. Activate the LHC while I’m on Mars and see what the fuck happens to Earth.
36. Tip Stephen Hawking over.
37. Tip a cow.
38. Learn to play the guitar like a bad ass motherfucker.
39. Learn to drum like a bad ass motherfucker.
40. Learn to sing like a bad ass motherfucker.
41. Ask a girl out without embarrassing myself.
42. Own a brothel.
43. Have sex with the next hot stranger I see.
44. Walk around with Pheromone spray and see if it actually works.
45. Go around and spray Pheromone on strangers to see if it actually works.
46. Shoot a guy in his testicles.
47. Shoot a girl in her breasts.
48. Own an automatic and perform a drive by. With white people.
49. Create Gundams.
50. Own all the latest gen Consoles with a killer TV.
51. Experience HD to see what the big deal is. Like seriously, is it worth the investment?
52. Own the best computer in the entire world.
53. Learn to program much better than I can now since I’m total shit now.
54. Hack FBI and get away with it.
55. Hack CIA and get away with it.
56. Find Carmen Sandiego.
57. Find Waldo.
58. Find Osama.
59. Find the previous 3 having a three sum and Youtube it.
60. Have a three sum. No hookers, all consensual with people I know.
61. Become a millionaire and richer than Bill Gates.
62. Learn and master all the martial arts.
63. Learn to break dance.
64. Learn to ball room dance.
65. Get a lap dance.
66. Dump a girl friend.
67. Steal a girl friend from a friend.
68. Become a hitman and kill all the people I seriously hate for the sake of it.
69. Take revenge on people.
70. Go on a killing spree and get away with it.
71. Play chicken on the 401.
72. Play chicken with a train.
73. Play chicken with a plane.
74. Attend a Metallica concert and live to tell about it. I’m afraid it’ll be filled with bikers and whatnot.
75. Replay every single Final Fantasy game.
76. Actually host some sort of event for sakes of charity.
77. Own a sex toy store.
78. Beat Usain Bolt and shit all over him. No I mean literally.
79. Cut communication from the world and go for a month.
80. Get a Ph.D. in math.
81. Survive a nuclear holocaust.
82. Shake hands with an alien and live.
83. Own a race of aliens of sorts and conquer the world.
84. Pangaea once more.
85. Buyout every single sports team in the world and make it all fake like WWE and other wrestling. Take that fuckers.
86. Own Nintendo.
87. Own Sony.
88. Own Microsoft.
89. Disband all three.
90. Learn to cook.
91. Actually slit my wrists.
92. Run across Eatons. Butt naked.
93. Attain DBZ powers.
94. Play the main character in a new Power Rangers THAT DOESN’T SUCK.
95. Instead of ruling the world, play a role in the world so that world leaders kill each other and blow the earth up. I’ll be on Mars or Moon.
96. Get married with the woman of my life. No she isn’t drugged.
97. Get High.
98. Blow up the space. I’ll make it possible.
99. Take a bath with my wife/girlfriend.
100. Take a bath with a toaster plugged in. I fucking hate my life.
101. Learn to live dependent.
102. Treat my mom to the time of her life.
103. Try not to hate the world.
104. Learn to be happy.
105. Kill the fucking assholes that call themselves my friends.

Bill O’Who?

Bill O’Reilly, what is with this man?

Pardon me for realizing this so late but why is he still in his position? This man is full of shit. Of course, that only applies to certain cases (maybe more often than not, I wouldn’t know) but from what I’m seeing, he’s irrational, stubborn, and simply stupid and dillusional. Blah.

Correct me if I’m wrong, I’m only looking at certain parts of him.